“And We have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months; until when he attains his maturity and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! grant me that I may give thanks for Thy favor which Thou hast bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may do good which pleases Thee and do good to me in respect of my offspring; surely I turn to Thee, and
surely I am of those who submit.” (Suratul Ahqaf, verse 15)
Mid-life crisis-that's what its called when folks can no longer comfortably carry their sleeping kids up the stairs, when they can't brush their hair without spotting some grey, and when they have to constantly remind themselves that they no longer belong to the under 35 age group. Aside from these obvious physical changes, turning 40 is also when our actions, good or bad, are much harder to change, stubbornly clinging and not releasing its hold over us. Whoever you are by that point, is who you are.
Going on Ziarat for Arbaeen was my pre-mid-life crisis in a sense. An opportunity to start again and try and eliminate things I didn't like about myself, find that path towards forgiveness and repentance. Imam Jaf'ar Sadiq(as) has said, 'If one of our Shia goes for Imam Husain's (a.s.) Ziarat, then he will not return but all his sins will be forgiven. For every step that he or his mount takes, 1,000 virtues are written for him, 1,000 sins are forgiven and his status is elevated by a 1,000 degrees.' (Behaarul Anwar, vol 101, pg 25, tradition 26; Kamiluz Ziaraat, pg 134)My intention was to join the Spiritual Journeys group again (see Ziyarat with Kids) but I wasn't able to collect the money needed by the deadline and decided I would have to wait until next year. I would read Ziarat Ashura almost every night with the niyyat that somehow I make it to Imam Husayn (as) this Arbaeen. December rolled around and my prospects were close to none as Arbaeen was falling on Jan. 3, 2013 that year until we received a phone call from my husband's nephew. He was planning on going to Iraq, via Iran, with two of my sister in laws, and their families. At first I gawked at the idea, after all, where would I come up with all the money? Would we get the visa in time? What would I do with my other kids? How could he possibly make all the arrangements less than a month before the largest peaceful gathering in the world? That's not something you could really organize last minute.
By the pure and genuine grace of the Almighty Allah(swt), within a few days, my nephew (in-law) managed to get the Iranian visas via Dublin, made all the necessary travel arrangements of flying into Iraq from Iran, and all the necessary accommodations. My complete travel arrangements literally didn't materialize until the week before I was to fly out. My husband found airfare for myself and all 4 kids to London (3 of them to be looked after by another sis-in law) and then tickets from London to Iran with my oldest daughter only. What seemed impossible was unfolding into possibility and actuality, for which I am ever grateful.
As we would be travelling in the winter this time it wouldn't be as blazing hot during the day and the nights would be significantly colder. I also packed as light as possible this time, there would be no group to help load the bags or carry them. Essential undergarments such as long johns, turtle neck tops, track suit bottoms, fleece jacket, a couple of chadors (an Iraqi and Irani one), gloves, plenty of warm socks, trainers and of course toilet paper. Please refer to the list in the blog 'Ziarat with Kids' for a detailed list (although that trip was during the warm season).
I also packed clothes to donate, but that didn't pan out as well as I thought. Its better to have an organization to donate those items to, rather than distribute any clothing on the street. Medicines are good to bring to donate as well to an organization.
Having performed Ziarat in Iran and Iraq some months before, I had all the written materials I needed. I compiled the main dua, ziarat and maps I needed into a concise ziarat pack, divided in sections, according to location. I also used sticky tabs to mark the main ziarat duas I needed so I could quickly reference them as I needed. My sister in law actually gave us all a Ziarat in Iraq mini book, by QFatima, however, I felt it wasn't detailed enough and had the short version of all the ziaraa.
My daughter and I were excited as well as overwhelmed with the enormity of the opportunity we had been gifted with. When you are presented with something you are not expecting the gratification as well as the gratitude is magnified. I would also be able to concentrate without having the responsibility of having my younger children with me. This would be a journey of self reflection and new beginnings for this mid lifer.
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